Parenting for Success, in today’s article will be a little different because it comes from my own professional and personal experience. It’s also a special piece marking two weeks of 3Narratives, where we do our best to show at least two sides of every story, allowing you to choose the most important narrative — your own, the third narrative.

Every Sunday, I’m considering sharing an editorial piece like today’s story.
This one comes from my unique journey — first, as a boy who traveled around the world, later as a Child Protection Worker helping children apprehended by government agencies due to sexual abuse, physical abuse, and neglect. I also spent 15 years working with the Vancouver School Board and ran a parenting program at UBC Elementary School.

And lastly, perhaps most importantly, I am a father of three boys. One is from a relationship that didn’t work out, and the other two live at home. Last year, my son’s Grade 7 teacher said something that truly touched me:

“Your son is a role model. He’s kind, smart, and assertive. He’s destined to go to any university he chooses. What’s your parenting secret?”

Today, I want to offer two narratives:

1. Parenting for Success
2. Old-School Parenting

Parenting for Success

Everyone’s definition of success might differ. For me, success means raising multifaceted, intelligent, kind, and assertive individuals.
Multifaceted means being healthy physically, emotionally, and academically.

Important note:
If your child is born with health challenges, such as visual impairment, your goal isn’t to “fix” them, but rather to nurture the best version of this human being. Almost everything we discuss here can be adapted to different circumstances. Every child deserves the chance to thrive in their own way.

I welcome your thoughts, feedback, and even challenges to these ideas.

Let’s walk through the major stages of childhood and how to parent for true success.

Newborn Stage

You’ve arrived home with your baby — how was the birth? Was it in a hospital, at home with midwives, were there complications?
The next few months are among the most important in your child’s life. This is when consciousness and the subconscious mind begin forming. Safety, nurturing, and nourishment are critical now.

• Mothers: Nature has given your body the most potent nourishment. Breastfeeding builds deep bonds and understanding. But if breastfeeding isn’t possible, don’t worry — formula and other forms of nurturing can still raise wonderful children.
• Fathers (or partners): Your role is to support. Take care of the home, bring food, clean, and step into caregiving whenever possible. Take care of yourself too — strong partnerships are key.

If neither biological parent is present, it may be a grandparent, close friend, or adoptive parent providing that vital nurturing. What matters most is consistent love, safety, and presence.

Mistakes will happen — we’re human. Just adjust and learn.

Old-School Approach at the Newborn Stage

• Seeing a child’s needs as an inconvenience (“I have a golf game.”)
• Avoiding feeding out of vanity (“Breastfeeding will ruin my body.”)
• Leaving a baby to cry alone (“He needs to toughen up.”)

Here, the parent’s needs compete against the child’s needs. This early neglect can shape lifelong struggles with trust, self-esteem, and emotional health.

Toddler Stage

The toddler stage (around 1–3 years) is full of wonder — first steps, first words, first acts of independence.
This is the time to set gentle boundaries and empower small choices.

Ask simple either/or questions:

• “Is the ice cream hot or cold?”
• “Touch the coffee cup — is it hot or cold?”

Help your toddler succeed with small challenges, building confidence gradually without overwhelming them.

Old-School Approach at the Toddler Stage

• Extreme passivity: Asking open-ended questions they can’t yet answer.
• Aggression and fear-based parenting: “Be good or the wolf will get you.”
• Using punishment without teaching.

Both extremes — overindulgence and harshness — delay emotional intelligence.

Child Stage

(Usually around ages 3–12.)

This is when your child starts becoming the person they will be.
Empowerment becomes key: recognize what’s working well and build from there.

Answer their endless questions with curiosity:

“Why is the sky blue?”
Instead of dismissing them, explain simply and even explore together. (“Sometimes the sky is green — it’s called the Northern Lights! Let’s look it up together.”)

Open doors to activities:

• Sports
• Art
• Chess
• Music
• Gaming (yes, even gaming can teach patience and problem-solving)

Remember: Your child’s life is their own, but your engagement makes a world of difference.

Old-School Approach at the Child Stage

• “Because I said so.”
• “Your questions are stupid.”
• Ignoring or belittling.
• Forcing them into rigid, adult-centered worlds where they must “behave.”

This approach suppresses creativity, confidence, and resilience.

Teenager Stage

Teenagers naturally seek independence — it’s biology.
They explore fashion, friendships, music, travel, and love.

Our job: Balance freedom with guidance.

For example, I made the tough choice to talk with my sons about fentanyl in street drugs. I told them:

“If you ever decide to try marijuana, come to me first. I’d rather you be safe.”

We adjusted our living space to give them privacy, even moving our office so they could each have their own room.
I had to learn about their music, their styles — Kendrick Lamar became a household name, even if I’m still skeptical about the baggy jeans.

Still, staying engaged matters:

• Know their friends.
• Ask questions.
• Insist on family time sometimes — but be flexible.

What you build during infancy, toddlerhood, and childhood will now show up:
Will they handle breakups?
Will they stand up to injustice?
Will they resist addiction and work toward meaningful goals?

Old-School Approach at the Teenager Stage

• “My house, my rules — leave if you don’t like it.”
• “You’ll eat when we say, or not at all.”
• Living vicariously through their teenage years (inviting 13-year-olds to drink).

Neither tyranny nor becoming “one of the kids” will support their healthy development.

Conclusion

Parenting for true success is about building strong roots — early love, consistent presence, empowerment through choices, and mutual respect.

It’s not about perfection. It’s about connection.