by Carlos Taylhardat

“A life organized is better than a disorganized life.”
— My Father, when I was finally ready to listen

I. The Words That Finally Land

My father had always told me to get organized. For decades, he delivered this message with the precision of a mantra—fold your shirts, write things down, keep your life in order. I heard it a thousand times and ignored it a thousand more. It wasn’t until my forties, after years of detours and missteps, that something shifted.

We were sitting together, not in conflict but in quiet, when he looked at me with gentleness and said, “Son, I thought by now you would have learned that a life organized is better than a disorganized life.”

The sentence was not new. But his voice had changed—there was no edge, no lecture, just love. It struck me like lightning. For the first time, I didn’t feel scolded. I felt seen. And that’s when it finally landed. That moment changed not only the way I lived, but the way I would someday speak to my own child.

What’s the best parenting advice you’ve ever received—not the most repeated, but the one that finally reached you?

II. The Invisible Thread of Trust

Years before I became a father, I worked with the Ministry of Children and Families and the Vancouver School Board. I helped children—many who had been sexually abused—return to homes that were supposed to be safe but hadn’t been. I saw what happened when love was given without safety, or rules without trust.

One child, a boy who had been away from home for four years, stood silently in his living room on the day of his return. His mother had changed, but he hadn’t seen it yet. She knelt down and whispered, “Whatever you feel, you can tell me now.” That sentence didn’t erase his trauma, but it opened a door.

Parenting is not about grand gestures. It’s about tone. Timing. Trust. The best advice doesn’t always come from a book—it comes from presence, from quiet courage, from showing up again and again.

III. Ginott, Spock, and the Stranger We Used to Be

Dr. Benjamin Spock once wrote, “Trust yourself. You know more than you think you do.” That single sentence soothed generations of new parents who were terrified of doing it wrong.

And Haim Ginott, a child psychologist who deserves to be read more widely today, believed that the way we talk to our children becomes their inner voice. His advice was both poetic and practical: correct behavior, not emotion. Validate the feeling, even when you can’t validate the action.

I didn’t grow up with Ginott’s books on my nightstand, but I’ve met his wisdom in real life—in the mother who breathes before she yells, in the father who crouches down to his child’s eye level. The most profound advice often isn’t loud. It’s human.

And sometimes, it’s ours to rediscover.

IV. When You’re Ready to Hear It

I wasn’t ready to hear my father’s wisdom when I was 20. Or 30. Or even 39. Advice, like love, requires a doorway to walk through.

As parents, we often believe it’s our job to deliver insight. But perhaps it’s more powerful to offer invitations. To speak gently. To wait.

Because the truth is, our children won’t remember every word we say. But they will remember how they felt when we said it.

V. The Mirror of Parenthood

When I became a parent, the echo of my father’s voice was louder than I expected. Not the voice of his instructions, but the way his advice finally reached me: slowly, softly, and in my own time.

Now, I try to parent that way—with presence over pressure, questions over commands. I don’t always get it right. But when I pause before speaking, I imagine my child years from now, telling someone: “One day, my parent said something that stuck with me forever.”

Maybe it won’t be the words. Maybe it will be the tone. Or the look in my eyes.

That’s the thing about advice: it’s only great if it’s felt, not forced.

VI. Your Turn

What’s the best advice a parent ever gave you—not just what they said, but when it finally mattered?

And how will you pass that feeling along?

As we parent, we are not just raising children. We are helping future adults carry wisdom through the noise. Advice doesn’t have to be perfect. It just has to be true.

And when spoken with love, it lasts forever.

“A life organized is better than a disorganized life.” — My Father (adapted) Wikipedia

Prioritizing Parental Self-Care

“Taking care of yourself first is not selfish—it’s essential,” an aphorism echoed by the American Psychological Association. American Psychological Association With nearly half of U.S. parents reporting overwhelming stress, parental burnout threatens family well-being. Parents The APA advises establishing support networks, practicing mindfulness, and rejecting unrealistic standards perpetuated by social media. Parents When parents model self-compassion—such as setting aside time for exercise or hobbies—they reduce stress and build the resilience needed for effective parenting. Wikipedia