“It wasn’t what he said—it was what he didn’t. Guilt lingered in the silence, and I could feel the weight of everything he couldn’t articulate.”
I was talking to a friend—someone I’ve known for decades—and while we chatted about life, work, and the future, something shifted. It wasn’t his words that struck me, but the space between them. A heaviness. Guilt, maybe. Regret, perhaps. It made me reflect not just on him, but on myself—especially as a father.
These days, my 14-year-old son, Dryden, is deeply involved in competitive soccer. The commitment is substantial: early morning practices, weekend tournaments, and the financial strain of equipment and travel. It’s a significant investment, both in time and resources.
One evening, as we sat together after a long day, I turned to him and said:
“Dryden, I can’t afford your soccer. But I also can’t afford not to afford it. So we’ll do everything possible to make it happen. One day, you’ll have to pay it back.”
His eyes widened. “Pay it back, Daddy? How?”
I smiled. “When you have your own kids, I want you to support them in whatever it is they love—whatever matters most to them.”
“I’ll do that for sure.”
That conversation has stayed with me ever since. Not because it was profound or dramatic, but because it was ordinary. Quiet. Real. And because parenting is rarely about grand gestures—it’s about showing up when it’s hard, when it’s inconvenient, when your bank account says no but your heart says yes.
What Kind of Parent Are You?
We all have our own narratives when it comes to parenting. For some, faith takes priority. For others, it’s education, discipline, emotional availability, or tradition. Many face circumstances that define their parenting style: raising children with special needs, single parenting, co-parenting after divorce, or parenting across cultures.
There is no one way—but there are common traits found in parents who create lasting impact:
Support Over Pressure: Encouraging children to pursue what they love, not what we wish for them.
Consistency and Presence: Being there—not just physically, but emotionally.
Teaching by Example: Living the values we hope they’ll carry forward—resilience, kindness, integrity.
Flexibility in Belief: Understanding that religion, tradition, or culture can guide us, but must bend to the individual needs of our children.
Parenting Around the World: A Snapshot
Parenting styles vary across cultures, influenced by societal norms and values. Here’s a glimpse into different approaches:
Japan: Emphasizes empathy and interdependence over discipline.
Germany: Prioritizes independence from a young age.
United States: Often values self-esteem and individual achievement.
India: Strongly influenced by family honor, education, and religious tradition.
Despite differences, the underlying theme is universal: we want our children to thrive.
The Third Narrative
This isn’t just my story. Maybe it’s yours too.
Maybe your version isn’t about soccer, but piano lessons, therapy, a religious rite, or simply putting food on the table. Maybe you’ve made sacrifices you’ve never spoken about.
So here’s the question we ask in 3 Narratives style:
Is parenting a financial responsibility, a moral one, or both?
Let’s not judge each other’s answers—let’s listen to them.
Because parenting, like love, is not a one-size-fits-all journey. It’s messy, painful, beautiful, expensive, exhausting—and sometimes, it’s everything we never thought we could do, until we did.
[…] I’ve explored in earlier reflections on helping children find their voice and Parenting over Profit, the real breakthroughs often happen when we listen rather than dictate. Whatever your parenting […]